Field Note — March 29, 2025

I’m looking for something more than just a place to go on Sunday.

I want to be part of a fellowship of believers who are alive in Christ—people who burn with a love for God. People who wake up with a hunger to know Him more and a drive to help others do the same. I want to be surrounded by brothers and sisters who aren’t just content to belong to the Christian club—but are gripped by the truth, stirred by righteousness, and fired up to live it out.

I’m not talking about hype. I’m talking about honest, surrendered discipleship. I want to walk with people who challenge me to live holy, not by checking off boxes, but by actually loving God with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength. I want to be in a community where people care more about becoming Christlike than looking put together.

But here’s the thing:
Do I really want to live that kind of life?

I say I do. My heart gets excited when I think about it. I’ve even experienced pieces of it—times when the Word was alive in me, when obedience came with joy, when the Spirit moved and I followed. I know that kind of life is real. But living it consistently? Daily? That’s where it gets hard.

This life requires dying to myself—every single day. It means sacrifice. It means being the odd one out, even in church. It means leaning into obedience when no one is watching, and no one is cheering. So yes, I say I want it. But do I want it enough to live it?

And then another question arises:
Is this just my desire—or is this actually what God expects of all His people?

Because if this longing is just about me, then maybe I’ve made too much of it. But if this is God’s expectation, then I haven’t made it nearly enough.

Jesus didn’t say, “If you’re feeling passionate, love me with all your heart.” He said, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength” (Mark 12:30, ESV). That’s not a bonus level of Christianity. That’s the starting point.

He never said, “Be faithful as long as your church community supports you.” He said, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me” (Matthew 16:24, ESV).

So no—this isn’t just about me.
This is what God is calling all of us to do.

And maybe the real problem is that we’ve normalized a faith that treats true discipleship as optional. Maybe we’ve been so busy polishing the surface that we’ve forgotten the burning heart underneath.

God, if I’ve let that fire die down… if I’ve grown comfortable in a faith that doesn’t cost me anything… light it again.
Because I do want this life.
I want it more than anything.

And I need help.
I need others who want it too.