Field Note, April 17, 2025

A question creeps in sometimes. It usually happens when I’m quiet and alone. I’m often staring at a half-finished essay or rereading what is already written.

What if this is just me?
What if I’m stringing words together because I enjoy it? Maybe it’s because I think I’m good at it. Or perhaps I’ve got something to prove.
What if I’m trying to do God’s work… without God?

It’s a dangerous thing to teach Scripture. James even warns us not to rush into teaching roles. He says, “for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness” (James 3:1). That’s not just a sobering verse. It’s a clarifying one. It reminds me this isn’t just about passing along information—it’s about formation. Mine and theirs.

So I ask myself:
• Am I building a platform, or am I building disciples?
• Am I offering what the Holy Spirit has revealed to me—or just publishing what I think sounds wise?
• Is this series, this structure, this blog… a tool guided by God? Or just another clever framework I built because I could?

Here’s what I keep coming back to:

I didn’t come up with the desire to do this.
I don’t need another project. I didn’t wake up one day and decide to architect a journey through epistemology, theology, and the nature of truth. This entire thing started with a hunger—to know what’s real, to love God better, and to live what I believe. Every time I try to walk away, the Spirit gently taps me on the shoulder. It says, “You’re not done yet.”

So no—I don’t think this is just me.
But I also know I have to be on guard. Even the best intentions can drift if I stop asking:

“Is this still about Christ?”
“Is this still led by the Spirit?”
“Is this still grounded in truth?”

This project only has value if it keeps pointing beyond me.

I’ll keep walking, pen in hand, heart open to correction. If I ever start doing this just to “teach,” I hope someone will call me on it. I do not want to do it without love, surrender, or the Spirit.

Because I don’t want to build something that impresses.
I want to build something that obeys.