Category: Uncategorized

  • I Say I Want It—But Do I?

    I Say I Want It—But Do I?

    Field Note — March 29, 2025

    I’m looking for something more than just a place to go on Sunday.

    I want to be part of a fellowship of believers who are alive in Christ—people who burn with a love for God. People who wake up with a hunger to know Him more and a drive to help others do the same. I want to be surrounded by brothers and sisters who aren’t just content to belong to the Christian club—but are gripped by the truth, stirred by righteousness, and fired up to live it out.

    I’m not talking about hype. I’m talking about honest, surrendered discipleship. I want to walk with people who challenge me to live holy, not by checking off boxes, but by actually loving God with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength. I want to be in a community where people care more about becoming Christlike than looking put together.

    But here’s the thing:
    Do I really want to live that kind of life?

    I say I do. My heart gets excited when I think about it. I’ve even experienced pieces of it—times when the Word was alive in me, when obedience came with joy, when the Spirit moved and I followed. I know that kind of life is real. But living it consistently? Daily? That’s where it gets hard.

    This life requires dying to myself—every single day. It means sacrifice. It means being the odd one out, even in church. It means leaning into obedience when no one is watching, and no one is cheering. So yes, I say I want it. But do I want it enough to live it?

    And then another question arises:
    Is this just my desire—or is this actually what God expects of all His people?

    Because if this longing is just about me, then maybe I’ve made too much of it. But if this is God’s expectation, then I haven’t made it nearly enough.

    Jesus didn’t say, “If you’re feeling passionate, love me with all your heart.” He said, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength” (Mark 12:30, ESV). That’s not a bonus level of Christianity. That’s the starting point.

    He never said, “Be faithful as long as your church community supports you.” He said, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me” (Matthew 16:24, ESV).

    So no—this isn’t just about me.
    This is what God is calling all of us to do.

    And maybe the real problem is that we’ve normalized a faith that treats true discipleship as optional. Maybe we’ve been so busy polishing the surface that we’ve forgotten the burning heart underneath.

    God, if I’ve let that fire die down… if I’ve grown comfortable in a faith that doesn’t cost me anything… light it again.
    Because I do want this life.
    I want it more than anything.

    And I need help.
    I need others who want it too.

  • What Is God’s Plan?

    What Is God’s Plan?

    Step 1.01 — Introduction to Part One: Preparing for the Expedition

    We can’t talk about discipleship without first asking this question.

    Not just His plan for your life or mine—but His eternal, overarching plan for everything. Creation, fall, redemption, restoration. Everything God is doing flows from this plan. If we get this wrong, everything else will unravel. But if we get it right—it becomes the compass that directs our entire journey.

    In this essay, we begin to explore the shape of God’s plan according to Scripture. We’ll build a framework we can come back to again and again as we move forward in this expedition of faith.

    This isn’t about inventing a clever theological system or trying to predict the future. It’s about understanding the purpose behind everything God has revealed—and how that purpose defines who we are, what we were made for, and how we should live.

    “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.”\
    – Proverbs 16:9 (ESV)

    Key Points from This Essay

    • God’s plan is eternal, unchanging, and sovereign.
    • Every part of Scripture tells the story of His plan.
    • Discipleship begins with aligning our lives to that plan.
    • We are not the center of God’s plan—Christ is.
    • Understanding God’s plan forces us to confront whether we’re living in it or merely near it.

    Key Questions to Consider

    • What do I believe God’s plan is—and where did that belief come from?
    • Have I ever stopped to ask why I exist?
    • If God has a plan, what would it mean to truly live in light of it?
    • Am I willing to surrender my story for the sake of His?

    Next: Step 1.05 – Why Are We Here?\
    Before we can trust God’s plan, we have to ask how we know anything is true in the first place. In the next essay, we’ll introduce the idea of epistemology and why it matters for every believer.

    See Also: [Field Note: “I Say I Want It—But Do I?”] – A personal reflection that honestly confronts the tension between what we claim to want and what God actually calls us to live.

  • Why am I writing these essays?

    Why am I writing these essays?

    Field Note – March 28, 2025

    If you’re reading this, then in some way—you’re searching. Maybe it’s for understanding, for truth, for purpose, or just a clearer picture of what it really means to follow Christ. I know that search well.

    For years, I thought I understood my faith. I had spent decades in Bible-believing fellowships, serving in just about every role you can imagine—music director, youth leader, Sunday school teacher, church elder, even preaching occasionally. I knew the language of Christianity. Not only that, but I knew the right answers. But something was missing.

    Over time, I came to realize three things:

    • I had never seriously asked: How do I know what I claim to believe is actually true? I simply acted on what I was taught—without ever examining the foundation.
    • I didn’t understand, nor had I experienced, my true purpose—my highest good. Why? Because I was still operating under point #1.
    • I didn’t yet grasp that everything exists and moves according to God’s plan and His timing. And once I began to understand that, the first two began to fall into place.

    It wasn’t until my 50s that I truly started to see these things clearly.

    DiscipleLife.org is the result of that long struggle—a journey to understand God’s plan and live it out. I’ve spent years digging into Scripture, not just for answers, but for alignment, for truth, for clarity, and for purpose.

    When did everything change?

    When I finally cried out to God, “I just want to know the truth!”, it wasn’t out of rebellion, but out of desperation. I wasn’t doubting God—I was doubting whether I had truly understood Him. I saw how easily people accepted beliefs without thinking critically, how many lived on borrowed faith without ever making it their own. Likewise, I feared I might be doing the same. And if I was, how many others were as well?

    This realization set me on a journey—not just to reaffirm my faith, but to understand it in a way that could withstand any challenge. I wanted to know why the Bible is true, why God’s plan unfolds as it does, and why discipleship is not just about salvation but about transformation. I wanted more than just religious certainty; I wanted a coherent, logical, biblical worldview that aligned with reality.

    That journey is what led me to write this series, A Disciple’s Life.

    Why Am I Writing This?

    I am writing because I want to share what I have been taught. Discipleship is not a program, a class, or a checklist—it is a lifelong process of learning, growing, and becoming who God created us to be. This series is not just about gathering knowledge, but about helping believers examine their faith and align their lives with God’s truth.

    I write as a fellow traveler, not as a scholar or an authority. I see myself as a teaching assistant (TA) in God’s classroom, guiding others as I, too, continue learning. The Holy Spirit is the true teacher—I am only here to point to the truth He reveals in Scripture.

    This series follows a systematic approach—not just throwing out ideas, but leading you step by step. Each essay builds on the last, exploring God’s plan, the search for truth, the evidence for God’s existence, the reliability of Scripture, and what it means to live as a disciple. If we are going to commit to this journey, we must do it together, with honesty, logic, and a willingness to ask difficult questions.

    What Do I Ask of You?

    1. Engage with these essays thoughtfully – Do not just accept what I write because it sounds right. Test everything against Scripture.
    2. Be willing to examine your faith – Paul tells us to “Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith” (2 Corinthians 13:5). That is not a suggestion—it is a command.
    3. Ask questions – If something challenges your beliefs, don’t push it aside. Wrestle with it.
    4. Commit to discipleship – Jesus didn’t call us to be converts. He called us to be disciples, which means following Him with our whole lives.

    So, I invite you to continue this journey with me. Not just as readers, but as fellow disciples. Let’s explore God’s truth together.

    So, I invite you to continue this journey with me. Not just as readers, but as fellow disciples. Let’s explore God’s truth together.

    Where do we go from here?

    PART ONE: What Is God’s Plan?
    This in an introduction to this section before we begin the first essay in this section, I want you to understand Part One is an introduction not an in-depth study.